It wouldn't be summer without an action-packed crapfest stinking up theaters and last summer brought us one of the very best. Transformers: Rise of the Fallon was far and away the best of any god-awful movie all year.We learn that thousands of years ago an evil Audibot wanted to steal our sun by building a massive sun stealing machine. Some Primes (but not Optimal, he wasn't born yet) sacrificed themselves and hid somesuch so it didn't happen. This made the evil one, dubbed The Fallon, want to seek revenge, but not until he's had thousands of years to stew in his angry juices and spawn a few new Deceptibots. Then, early in the movie, there's a confusing and visually assaulting scene that induces migraines in the weak. This scene introduces us to the first ever gay robots Skidmark and Mudflaps. These two are the racially insensitive comic relief who fight and bicker like brothers throughout the movie. The Audibots and US Army successfully destroy Shanghai then high-five each other while drinking beer.
