Notes from the Holiday Office Party

As overheard by Janice, the painfully shy receptionist at Fatty's Health Book Distributor

Ok, so now who'd like to make toast about me? Anyone? Hello? (Mr. Warbanks, CEO)

I'm not going to drink. Remember what happened last year? (Grace, sales)

No, my name is Pauline. PAULINE! (Pauline, HR)

Which one of you lovely ladies wants to show me their boobs? (Jake, bookkeeping)

Ok, who ate all the guacamole? (Lucy, advertising)

It's so big! (Tamara, marketing)

I got a taco! (James, sales)

C'mon! Their raising Roger's underwear up the flagpole! (Kevin, HR)

Can I please have my underwear back? And my pants? C'mon guys! (Roger, marketing)

Damn, Roger! (Sally, payroll)

Sweet! Grace is doing her pole dance again! (Jake, bookkeeping)

Ow! Not so hard! (Peg, accounting)

Alright, who's bra is this? (Julie, assistant)

Does anyone have a match? (Eddie, sales)

I'd like to make a toast... to Sally's tits. Good job, keep it up. (Jake, bookkeeping)

My eye! (Stan, accounting)

Once again, folks, the fruit is PLASTIC! Do NOT eat it! (Lucy, advertising)

That's my ASS, Jake! (Pauline, HR)

Ok, who threw the used condom in the punch bowl? (Sally, payroll)

A toast to my employees, without you I'd be a hellova lot richer! (Mr. Warbanks, CEO)

Who wants to play spin the bottle? Hey! Where's everyone going? *hic* (Grace, sales)

Ok, nobody go in THERE. Woo! (Ralph, purchasing)

It feels like my pants are on fire! (Eddie, sales)

Faker! (Greg, bully)

When the chips are down, make lemonade. That's what I always say. (Kevin, HR)

You got Cheetos in my HAIR! (Tamara, marketing)

Is that what I think it is? Please kindly remove it from my ear, Jake. (Pauline, HR)

Ok, ladies! It's Naked Twister time! Ladies? (Jake, bookkeeping)

Hey, I'll play! (Roger, marketing)

Here's to another year of record profits and no pay raises! Cheers! (Mr. Warbanks, CEO)