The Apocalypse Will Happen at an Old Hotel

At least that's what my dreams tell me. Evidently the world will be strewn with dirty laundry and lots of litter, where everyone except the Men in Charge will have to hide during the twilight hours. There are people who are "immune," but you must not mingle with them. Plus, you must be inside by 10 pm because it's curfew.

Other things to note:

If you are forced to sleep outside, because you no longer have a home or a family, make sure you are with a group of people and you're all disguised as piles of dirty laundry, that way the Men in Charge won't see you and take you away. That doesn't mean they won't poke at the piles of laundry and find you there, though.

Try to find a place to rest indoors, preferrably with a group of people. You don't have to disguise yourself as well indoors, but make sure you're as inconspicuous as possible. Try tucking yourself into small, uncomfortable spaces.

Your dog may love you, but she loves the Man in Charge more and will go with his lackeys if asked. He is, after all, the Man in Charge.

Being alone is ill-advised, but you may have to be from time to time, as most people don't want to leave the relative safety of their rooms. But your incurable curiosity will prevent you from staying in one place for too long.

Don't wear a T-Shirt that broadcasts the company you work for, it may gain you a few more enemies. But you may be able to offer the T-Shirt to them and sneak out the back door.

If you make it to the old, maze-like hotel, make sure you avoid skeevy-looking people. They will get you. They like to roam the halls, jump off balconies, and chase you. Sometimes their girlfriends will apologize for them. Sometimes the girlfriends are the skeevy ones.

The hotel is beautiful, dark and OLD. It pre-dates even your grandparents. The hotel is a hub of activity, most of it hidden. It has a power all its own. It has lots of doors, hallways and staircases, so you can easily lose someone in the maze--the better to outrun your persuers.

There are people who reside in the hotel, but that is ill-advised as the Men in Charge will find you and get you. They believe the hotel is theirs, even though it belongs to no one.

If the Man in Charge, who looks suspiciously like Clancy Brown, wants YOU, don't try to out run him. He will always catch you.

And lastly, if you are cutting pie for your family and friends and then pass it around, make sure you leave a slice for yourself. Otherwise no one will care that you didn't get a piece.