tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-311421102012-02-09T08:54:31.541-07:00MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.comBlogger251100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-60054482159444634902010-02-23T13:32:00.003-07:002010-04-19T16:21:06.226-06:00

It wouldn't be summer without an action-packed crapfest stinking up theaters and last summer brought us one of the very best. Transformers: Rise of the Fallon was far and away the best of any god-awful movie all year. We learn that thousands of years ago an evil Audibot wanted to steal our sun by building a massive sun stealing machine. Some Primes (but not Optimal, he wasn't born yet)

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-85519806934026053312008-10-28T12:56:00.016-06:002010-04-20T11:23:18.145-06:00

Many years ago, a little show about two disparate families who come together in an un-traditional way, beamed onto television sets nationwide. It broke cultural taboos, ripped into established boundaries, shocked and appalled even the most liberal of viewers with it's genre busting format, and made viewers question their values and faith. That show was not Who's the Boss?. And thus began

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-45833500949381582652008-10-21T09:42:00.016-06:002010-04-20T11:24:11.400-06:00

The Facts of Life was a serious drama that taught the world valuable lessons on life, love, baked goods and roller skates. The deadly serious theme song summed up the nature of the show in it's first few lines "You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the Facts of Life (the facts of life, dee doo)." The show centered on four girls, Blair, Joseph, Natalie and

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-34557335892250716162007-07-19T10:56:00.001-06:002007-07-19T11:00:07.677-06:00

$5240.00The Cadaver Calculator - Find out how much your body is worth. From Mingle2 Mingle2 - Free Online Dating Yep. My dead body could be worth the gargantuan price listed in the graphic. And then it can be sliced and diced by a bunch of medical students. I could buy something really nice with that cash. Now I have to figure out how to sell my dead body to science without actually dying and

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-46392790288443645272007-06-11T15:09:00.002-06:002010-04-20T11:24:31.736-06:00

30 years ago an effects-heavy, character-driven, cultural zeitgiest spectacle lit up the imaginations of people everywhere. No, I'm not talking about that tiny space movie called Star Wars, but about the era-defining, pop-culture phenomenon which was Three's Company. "Come on knock on our doooor/We've been waiting for yooooou." That's how the immensely catchy theme song started. It tended to

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-59199163831684967872007-02-06T13:25:00.001-07:002010-04-20T11:24:54.073-06:00

One of my favorite things is wearing a diaper. Now, that may seem strange at first, but think about it. You can go to the bathroom whenever you want! Say you are in a business meeting and you REALLY have to go, but you can't excuse yourself or you could be fired! Plus, you still have 45 minutes left in the meeting. What are you to do? Well, I suppose you could just pee your pants, but then

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-859088009832171342007-01-04T15:39:00.002-07:002010-04-20T11:25:06.820-06:00

It seems I can no longer rent terrible movies. I mean, I thought that out of the hundreds I watch each and every month that at least one would be a bad movie. Not so. Case in point: Mannequin, starring the ravishing Kim Cattrall and the far-from-idiotic Andrew McCarthy, is one of the best movies I've seen in quite some time. The story goes like this: In ancient Egypt, a wild, reckless, blonde

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1166048182351137162006-12-13T14:14:00.000-07:002007-12-11T14:48:56.507-07:00

As overheard by Janice, the painfully shy receptionist at Fatty's Health Book DistributorOk, so now who'd like to make toast about me? Anyone? Hello? (Mr. Warbanks, CEO)I'm not going to drink. Remember what happened last year? (Grace, sales)No, my name is Pauline. PAULINE! (Pauline, HR)Which one of you lovely ladies wants to show me their boobs? (Jake, bookkeeping)Ok, who ate all the guacamole? (

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1165355575126790412006-12-05T14:13:00.000-07:002006-12-05T16:10:47.436-07:00

by Jasper Mackay, esq.,Dear Santa,How are you? I know you're not actually real, which is sad, but I know this letter will reach you anyway (thank you Canada Post!), which is confusing. I just wanted to let you know that I, Jasper Mackay, was a really good boy this year so I'm hoping that you'll bring me EVERYTHING on my list. I know what you're thinking, "But Jasper, you're a very wealthy man

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1164757408564964312006-11-28T15:59:00.001-07:002007-12-11T14:52:15.052-07:00

Choice excerpts from Kathy's daily journal, aged 17.Ugh. Fish again. Sometimes I hate that my Dad had that heart attack.Don't feed the dog Spaghetti-O's under the table anymore. She won't eat them.Michaels sure is cute, but his dad is even cuter.Mom stuffed herself full of doughnuts again. Make sure to plug your ears before bed.Didn't I used to have a cat? Hmmm...I had two crackers for lunch and

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1163721816881587392006-11-16T15:19:00.001-07:002007-12-11T14:53:15.539-07:00

Back in September of 1985 a magical thing happened to television that changed me forever. I'm speaking, of course, about The Golden Girls. Those lovable old hags who loved, lost, fought, entertained, and ate cheesecake all while living in sun-drenched Miami. I found myself closely identifying with the geriatric foursome even though I was just a small boy at the time.Rose was my favorite. Always

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1163623981800453162006-11-15T10:11:00.000-07:002007-12-11T14:56:38.191-07:00

Well, it's that time of year again: stuff the turkey, open a can of cranberry sauce, layout the relish tray, and enjoy a thick slice of pumpkin pie (possibly from the one you carved just a few weeks ago!). That's right boys and girls, it's Thanksgiving time once again! We never actually had the traditional Thanksgiving in my family, Mother usually fried up some chicken legs and made her famous

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1162502455739147602006-11-02T12:21:00.000-07:002007-12-11T14:57:54.622-07:00

If you're anything like me then your love of pirates goes beyond simply wearing an eye patch and yelling "AAARGH Matey!" to passersby. You probably dress like a pirate every day. Recently I enjoyed the horror-musical spectacular with the ingenious and cleverly thought-out name The Pirate Movie. This film is filled with scary pirates, young lovers, ineffectual policmen, rich daddies and wonderful

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1162335188967831212006-10-31T14:08:00.000-07:002007-12-11T14:58:47.272-07:00

Once again it's time to don our witch's hat or vampire fangs and parade about the neighborhood collecting treats from the freindly neighbors, and playing tricks on the not-so-friendly ones. This year, as in all previous years, I have made my costume. I am a partially-chewed bog bone, inspired by my late labrador's love of bones from the butcher, of which Mother still buys and Sissy still gnaws on

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1158177697610940652006-09-13T12:48:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:02:10.845-07:00

I remember when I received my first bike. It was Christmas Day, 1985. Santa had once again forgotten to stop by. Mother said it was because he couldn't remember where we lived. Dad said it was because he was drunk. I think Santa must have been drunk because I wrote him every year and always put our address in big bold letters on the envelope. I always suspected my Dad took him to the bar whenever

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1158010678807169632006-09-11T15:01:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:03:04.950-07:00

At least that's what my dreams tell me. Evidently the world will be strewn with dirty laundry and lots of litter, where everyone except the Men in Charge will have to hide during the twilight hours. There are people who are "immune," but you must not mingle with them. Plus, you must be inside by 10 pm because it's curfew.Other things to note: If you are forced to sleep outside, because you no

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1156803973447263642006-08-28T16:10:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:03:40.783-07:00

I recently watched one of the funniest comedies I have ever seen. It's called Silent Hill. Full of slapstick, witty banter, and funny monsters, this movie will engage, enlighten, and entertain even the most stoic of persons.Rose Saliva has a problem. Her daughter, Sharon has taken to sleepwalking to a cliff every night. Instead of simply locking her doors, or setting up some kind of alarm system

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1155159635306046102006-08-09T16:33:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:06:00.157-07:00

Today as Mother and I did some grocery shopping, I found myself assaulted by a rather large woman. I spotted her in the frozen foods pondering which frozen pizza's offered the best deal. Her blue, yellow and green checked muumuu billowing out as she opened and closed various doors. Her hair was the color of copper wiring, and just as natural looking, done up in a massive bun atop her head. Her

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153865665140257492006-07-25T16:06:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:06:46.084-07:00

So I am obsessed with American Eskimos. So I decide to dedicate this post to some fun filled facts about the eskie:This breed can take longer to mature than other breeds, and Eskies can behave more like puppies than like adults for up to two years, when they finally start to mature and grow their adult coats. They are also an extremely intelligent dog and need to be stimulated. When their

Woo Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11817534029593285635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153865430204871272006-07-25T15:31:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:06:24.830-07:00

Every once in a while, Mother likes to dig out her old recipe cards and whip up something special for dinner. Tonight is one of those extra-special occasions. We're celebrating Mother's recent weight loss (10 pounds in 2 days! It really pays to get the stomach flu when you're morbidly obese, just ask Mother!). I am so excited, I can't wait to be let out of my room!Mother likes to have a full

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153777710153806182006-07-24T14:33:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:08:59.086-07:00

This weekend I watched the most delightful movie about ravenous earth monsters with a blood lust for humans that I've ever seen. It's called Tremors. The story goes like this: in a desolate Nevada town named Perfection, probably since it's nestled in a water-starved valley between mountains and a cliff, the local residents start dying one by one. Considering the entire population is around 10

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153515114508275922006-07-21T14:26:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:08:19.684-07:00

As I was primping in front of the mirror this morning I decided my helmet was looking a little too plain. Normally I won't wear my green helmet with brown slacks, usually the orange one adds a nice contrast in color, but today I was feeling a little frisky in the clothes department. At first I liked the smooth, shiny surface of the helmet, but today isn't a reserved sort of day, I needed

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153433734017346242006-07-20T16:07:00.000-06:002007-12-11T15:07:49.703-07:00

I just found out from a dear friend that Colorado is not a Segway friendly state. There is pending legislation to ban the offending motor vehicles from the sidewalks. I need my Segway. How can I be expected to walk from my car to my office everyday? That's almost two whole blocks each way! By the time I reach the office I'm nearly out of breath, with spots floating in front of my eyes. Without my

MilesThttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10542641330891542948noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153430919563888312006-07-20T15:21:00.000-06:002006-07-20T15:28:39.573-06:00

So I really want a camera, but I am afraid to commit to one because there will be one 10 times better and cheaper that will come out as soon as I slap my hard earned money down on the table. I have decided to begin the long road of research that will be required to make me feel good and just in my purchase....ho hum.Are you there Santa? Will you buy me a camera? I have been a good

Woo Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11817534029593285635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31142110.post-1153429651444812692006-07-20T15:06:00.000-06:002006-07-20T15:07:31.453-06:00

SUPRISE!!! Bifidus Regularis for one more day makes your bowels A-Okay! The Dog really doesn't have anything to do with Yogurt but if your bowels have a face I imagine they would look as smug as he does after a nice smooth shower of Activia.

Woo Kathttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11817534029593285635noreply@blogger.com1